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Life Is Not A Race

It is almost natural to be competitive, to be in a race when you are younger. I believe that the will to strive to be better than others is always there, whether you admit it or not. When I was younger, life was simpler, so competing was about things that were obvious and achievable. As I got older, the feeling remained, but life has become more complicated. Satisfaction no longer comes from good grades, the number of friends, or having a boyfriend. Life has become bigger and more complicated. It is not easy to satisfy 'me'. If I have my way, I want everything to be great than the rest of the world. Career, family, husband, kids, house, holidays, weight, height. Everything. There's no way I'm getting all that and still a human. I have so little energy and determination for ALL the things I want to achieve. Paulo Coelho said that life is a journey, not a race. I don't know the guy, but I don't think he's wrong. Either way, live your life as you see fit.
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 Inside the mind of a carer.  “My identity over the past 32 years has pretty much been as a carer, and to say that I’m not satisfied with that identity, and that I don’t want that identity, is difficult. To say you don’t think you’re particularly good at the one thing that you do, and the one thing you can’t see any way out of, is so difficult. “ ‘Carers, they’re wonderful, they are all so selfless.’ I’m me. I can be selfish. I can be kind. I can be angry. I’m like everyone else. I am not selfless all the time. I don’t know why a lot more carers don’t say that, but I know a lot of them agree with me when I say it. https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/minding-my-disabled-daughter-i-don-t-want-to-do-this-any-more-1.2872341
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Altered plans: Removing my daughter from school

My daughter came down with meningitis and epilepsy which attacked her brain and left her bedridden and disabled. It happened 2 years ago when she was 4 years old. The thing with the Malaysian education system is that you have to enroll your children as young as 4 to 5 years old to secure a place in a public school, which is what I did a few months before the incident that altered our lives forever. Fast forward 2 years later today, as I working alongside my bedridden daughter, I was included to a Whatsapp group, apparently by my daughter's supposed class teacher. They did not know my daughter now cannot attend school. I myself could not remember signing her up 2 years ago.  How could I? for the past 2 years, I have convinced myself there's no way she can attend normal schooling like other kids. I find comfort in accepting this early, instead of wondering about the implausible possibility. I found out that since I already registered her for the school, and it is a public school,...
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